I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Randomize
