Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
Randomize