i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
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