I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
Randomize
