She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize
