Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
