and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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