I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
Randomize
