He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
Randomize
