I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
Randomize
