he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
Randomize
