apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
Randomize