My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Randomize
