I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
I'm sitting next to this guy at the bar. I wrote him a little song in my head it goes "there is no fucking chance you're getting in my pants" gonna sing it to him after he buys me another drink.
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize