you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
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