there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
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