dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
did i walk over a car last night?
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
Two ladies just showed up with my fucking purse. It was in the fucking street. I'm a train wreck. As a financial advisor, this shouldn't happen. I should be an adult.
I have bruises all over my body. Seriously, I'm a train wreck. I'm too damn old for hangovers like this.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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