Pants 0. Shit 1.
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Randomize
