So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
Randomize
