so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
But theres a keg here and me gusta
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
