You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
