Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
Randomize