She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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