So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
Lo siento on account of my penis...
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