I hate all girls vehemently.
What did we do last night that was yellow?
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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