okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize
