Me. At least after what I've been through.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
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