This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
Randomize
