I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
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