I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
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