So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
Randomize
