Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
Randomize