hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
Randomize
