I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
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