pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
