you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Randomize
