At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize