thus making me awesome and them whores
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize
