They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
Randomize
