just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
Someone shattered a urinal.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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