I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
