Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
It's never too late to be topless.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
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