Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize