I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
Randomize
