she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
Randomize
