Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
I won't apologize to a one balled man
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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