About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
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