That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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