C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
Randomize