Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Randomize