i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
