Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
Randomize
