Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Randomize
