New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
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