it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
Randomize