just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
Randomize
