I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
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