Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
Randomize
