We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
