So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Randomize
