booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
I checked into jail on foursquare
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Randomize
