No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
