so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Randomize
