Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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