weddingsv make me drug and hornr
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
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