please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
Randomize
